Adverse Events
by lost0and0found
Summary: Focuses on the personal and professional lives of two young doctors and the adverse events when their paths cross. AU Lit.
1. FNS

Disclaimer:_ Nothing's mine. I'm poor, etc._

A/N: **Inspired by** **LiteratiLoverNo1's vid** 'Finding Each Other' on youtube, and I do hope she doesn't mind me digging into the idea of Rory and Jess being young doctors... I really loved her work on this video and something bugged me to explore an AU where they meet under completely different circumstances.

I'm also a huge fan of 'House' (well, who isn't...) and I thought it would be fun to try a different setting for a Lit story ...

**Your opinions matter, so please let me know what you think (whether you liked it or not, your feedback would be equally helpful) :)**

* * *

'Eight year old girl with abdominal pain, nausea and vomiting,' Dr Rory Gilmore reported to the surgeon on duty as she got out of the ambulance and entered the emergency department.

The surgeon didn't reply, but sized her once from head to heels in a slightly dismissive way. She read '_Dr J. Mariano_' on his badge. He was young and she thought he must have graduated soon - maybe a year or two ago. An intern. Like herself. She almost expected him to stop and stare at the kid, unable to make a decision.

Ever since she entered the ambulance tonight, she felt somewhere between stoned and hyperventilated. Six years at medical school had evaporated from her head the moment she started her first night shift at the emergency department. Sixty-four year old man with a heart attack, young woman with broken arm, an overdosed teenager and a drunken tramp had made her switch from excitement to autopilot, thinking tonight was never gonna end.

She kind of expected any other young doctor to feel that same paralyzing feeling of doubt. Dr Mariano didn't show such, though. He took the other end of the stretcher and led them on to the emergency ward. Rory felt a quiet pang of envy at the back of her mind.

'What do we have here?' a middle aged caramel-skinned nurse joined them, dragging a mobile IV pole along.

'Eight year old with appendicitis,' Rory answered readily, giving the nurse a helpful smile.

'And a twenty-five year old with FNS syndrome,' the man spoke for the first time, pronouncing the words under his breath.

She gave him a perplexed look while the nurse chuckled.

'First Night Shift syndrome,' she explained. 'Don't mind him, sugar,' she gave Rory a wink, 'he's just a harmless smartass.'

'Gimme five and I'll show you harmless, Helen,' he smirked and Helen shook her head, obviously amused.

Rory frowned, finding the whole joking while a kid was squirming in pain thing somewhat inappropriate.

They entered a small room with a couple of beds and the smartass surgeon gave Helen a nod. Rory watched awkwardly as they took the ends of the sheet on which the girl was lying and moved her to one of the beds almost immediately.

'What's your name?' he asked then, bending over the girl.

The girl concentrated on his face for a moment, probably debating if he looked trustworthy.

'Melissa,' she answered.

'Okay,' he nodded and made a sign to Helen. She prepared a blood sampling kit and took Melissa's left arm.

'Now I'm gonna be a mosquito, sweetheart,' she said gently. 'You'll feel a quick sting, okay?'

'Okay.'

'You know why you're here, Melissa?' Dr Mariano asked.

''Cause my tummy aches,' she answered and then winced as Helen took the blood sample.

'Good reason. Anything else? You allergic to something?'

'I don't think.'

'You took any medications, pills, anything?'

'No.'

'Last thing you ate?'

'Bagels.'

'Anything that bothers you, besides your tummy?'

'I'm thirsty and I...'

'Yeah, sweetheart?' Helen encouraged her, bending over the kid.

'I wanna pee,' Melissa finished shyly.

'Okaay,' Dr Mariano said thoughtfully, taking a glucometer from a side drawer. 'Now I'm gonna prick your finger and check why your tummy aches.'

'I don't wanna... ouch!' the kid winced again, her eyes getting teary.

'Hey, was that necessary?' Rory stepped forward.

He looked up.

'Nursery's over there,' he nodded to his left.

'She's eight,' Rory said.

He smirked.

'I meant you.'

She glared.

'_Excuse_ me?'

_Who the hell do you think you are?_

'And now, doctor,' Dr Mariano turned to her, '... sorry but I didn't catch your name. Anyway,' he made a theatrical gesture with his left hand while taking a small insulin pen from the shelf beside the bed. 'You're gonna attend a hugely innovative way to treat appendicitis in children.'

Rory frowned.

'What are you...'

'Oh no, did I just inject insuline to the poor kid?' he feigned terror. 'Her sugar is five hundred. She has newly onset diabetes. Would've known that yourself, had you tested her in the ambulance on the way here.'

Then he turned towards Helen.

'Isotonic with potassium chloride. The symptoms are easily mistaken for appendicitis,' he explained calmly as he passed Rory by.

Rory blinked, unsure of what to say. For the first time this evening, he didn't sound like a smartass.

'Never give a diagnosis before you have proof.'

She nodded, afraid her voice would betray her. She felt really stupid.

Then she felt a reassuring tap on her shoulder. Helen.

'Don't worry, kid, you'll learn,' she smiled at Rory and then added in a motherly manner. 'Happy first night shift, dear.'

* * *

'Who is this guy?' Rory narrowed her eyes above her steaming cup of coffee.

Now that her endless shift was over, she was so tired she could well fall asleep straight in the armchair of the break room, was she not infuriated.

'What guy?' Dr Paris Geller asked while chewing on a dried a papaya.

_Nursery's over there. _

_She's eight._

_I meant you._

Rory wrinkled her nose with disgust.

'The doctor House wannabe over there,' she pointed her head towards the emergency ward. 'He thinks he's so smart.'

'Hey,' Paris raised her point finger, 'we all think we're so smart. That's why we studied medicine.'

Rory let out a small sigh.

'Yeah, you're probably right. I must be overreacting.'

'I'm always right,' Paris shrugged and took another piece of papaya from the plastic box on her desk.

'I guess I just wanted my first night shift to be somewhat...'

'Heroic?' Paris offered.

Rory shook her head.

'... less of a humiliation.'

'Hey, you saved lives today.'

'Not really. I think rather my luck helped me to not kill anyone. Do you ever think you made a mistake choosing this?'

'The papaya?' Paris paused with a piece of papaya in her hand.

'Medicine.'

'Never.'

'Yeah. Of course, cause you're always right, eh?'

'Exactly. And so are you. We're gods, remember?'

Rory gave her best friend a look to ensure she was kidding before smiling back. With Paris, you never knew when she was self-ironic and when she was simply boasting.

'How could I forget, you keep reminding me,' Rory smiled.

'So, what do you think about your new job, doctor Gilmore?'

'It's crazy,' Rory shook her head, reminiscing the past twelve hours, and then added, 'Confusing. Frustrating.'

'Welcome to A&E.'

'Why, thank you. I need sleep.'

'And I need more papaya. I have six more hours until my shift's over.'

* * *

**A/N:** **Okay, so this is what could be the first chapter of a new story. Should I continue, should I not? I really wanna know what you think.**


	2. You're Breathing

Disclaimer: _Nothing's mine, not even the original idea of setting Lit in hospital surroundings._ _Got a spark from_ **LiteratiLoverNo1's vid** 'Finding Each Other' on youtube, _and here's the second chapter of what came out_.

A/N: **Thanks to everyone who supported this :) I need to know if you're there and reading, what you liked, what you didn't - you know what to do to let me know :)**

* * *

'Why does a beautiful young lady doctor choose this job?' Ezra asked as he steered the ambulance onto the main road.

Ezra was Rory's favorite ambulance driver - with his grayish hair and calm blue eyes behind the thick glasses, he reminded her of a retired librarian. She threw him a sideways look to find him concentrated on the road. It was raining cats and dogs and the path was hardly visible through a thick curtain of raindrops.

'Honestly?' she asked with a tinge of nostalgia, thinking his question over.

Ezra nodded. For the few weeks she'd been working with him, she had caught him show polite interest in her personality without ever being indelicate. He just asked a question per night, leaving her the choice whether or not to answer. She liked that. There was something very unbiased in Ezra that made her feel comfortable. Thank God for that, otherwise those endless night shifts would've driven her to full exhaustion.

'I don't know what I thought,' she smiled, remembering her job interview.

_'Miss Gilmore, right? You wanna work in emergency?'_

_'Um, yeah.'_

_'Okay then, you're in.'_

Shortest interview. Ever. - she thought on her way home afterwards.

'After graduation, I spent a year conducting clinical trials,' she explained, coming back to the present.

A truck passed them by, its headlights blinding her for a moment. She narrowed her eyes and looked out through the side window.

'Anyway, I realized science wasn't my thing, so I decided to come back to practical medicine. But without a specialty, this was the only place that would take me. I was kind of... clueless, I guess.'

She smiled a little shyly. Ezra smiled, too.

'Woe teaches the young,' he said wisely. 'My father liked to say this, whenever I complained about not knowing what to do.'

'He was right,' Rory nodded. 'I like it here. There's something weirdly addictive about this job. I guess it's the adrenaline. But I like it. Plus the money is good. What about you?' she turned towards him. 'You an adrenaline junkie yourself?'

He shook his head, laughing.

'God, no. Old man with big family. Needed the money.'

'Oh,' she nodded politely.

'Plus, you can't feel this alive staying home with a newspaper,' he added and they both laughed. 'Here we are,' he slowed down and stopped as the ambulance reached the yellow police tape.

'And here we go,' Rory replied, pulling the hood of her A&E uniform up and getting out into the pouring rain.

* * *

'Car crash, two men hurt, one with rib fracture and one with femoral fracture,' Rory reported to the receptionist as they entered the emergency department.

She looked around, hoping to see a familiar face, but none of the doctors she had worked with was around.

'I wanna sit, it hurts when I'm lying,' one of the men groaned with pain from his stretcher. 'My shoulder is killing me.'

'And my leg hurts like hell thanks to you, bastard!' the man on the second stretcher snapped.

'Oh, shut up, you moron, your headlights blinded me!'

Rory exchanged looks with Ezra who simply shrugged.

'Give us five and we'll take care of both of you, okay?' Helen approached them, giving Rory a wink. Rory relaxed and smiled back.

'Hey.'

'What do we have here?' Helen asked as they navigated the stretchers towards one of the free rooms.

'Two men hurt in a car crash, one with rib fracture and one with femoral fracture.'

Ben made an effort to sit in the stretcher.

'I can't...'

'Whoa, easy, Ben,' Rory said, pushing him to lie back on the stretcher.

'I can't breathe,' he groaned, lifting a hand before the left part of his chest.

'It hurts,' he complained, trying to sit in the bed again.

'Let me hear your lungs and we'll take care of you, okay?' Rory pushed him back down, putting her stethoscope on.

They reached one of the rooms and Rory gave Helen and Ezra a sign to wait before they move him on to the bed.

She stood by the stetcher and touched the base of Ben's neck, just above his shoulders.

_Subcutaneus emphysema._

'We need to cut his clothes, his ribs are fractured,' Rory turned to Helen. Helen nodded and took a pair of scissors.

'What are you doing?' Ben whined. 'Why are you cutting my clothes?'

'What about me? Are you gonna leave me like this? My leg is killing me,' the other man groaned.

'Give me a sec and I'll be back with you, Greg,' Rory sighed, lifting Ben's cut clothes out of the way as she checked his breathing and heart rate.

She put both her palms on both sides of his chest. He tried to take a deep breath but coughed instead.

_One lung not moving. Not now, Ben._

Her features stilled for a sec and she felt her fingers go numb. Then the moment was over.

'Helen, who's on duty?'

'Doctor Mariano, but he's in surgery.'

'Anyone else?'

Helen shook her head.

Just then Ben started to take fast irregular breaths like he was suffocating.

'I ca... I can't...' he gasped. His lips started to turn blue.

Rory took a deep breath in. Out.

'I need gloves,antiseptic wipes, cannula, tape,' she said mechanically as she took her soaked uniform jacket off and took a disposable surgical coat from a side hanger.

Her thoughts were racing, her ears pounding with the sound of a hundred different voices.

_Midclavicular line, second intercostal space, fuck, insert the cannula slowly just above the third rib, fuck, fuck, fuck... You can do it, Rory. Fuck. You can..._

As she inserted the cannula into Ben's upper left chest, it produced a hissing sound and Rory let a breath out. She fixed the cannula with the tape and put the stethoscope on to listen to Ben's breathing again.

_Okay, Rory. He's breathing. You're breathing. You're both breathing. Jeez._

'What do we have, Helen?' Dr Mariano enetered the room, taking a pair of gloves from the shelf beside the door and putting them on.

Rory threw a last look towards Ben whose face had started to regain its normal color. She realized her hands were shaking and stepped away, taking her gloves and coat off.

'Doctor Gilmore just performed thoracocentesis,' Helen explained with an air of pride, 'so you got the femoral fracture on the other bed.'

Rory took her working jacket from the ground where she'd thrown it and mumbled a quiet

'Excuse me,' as she walked them by stiffly.

Doctor Mariano frowned at her leaving figure and then his look paused back on Ben's chest. He put his stethoscope on and walked over to Ben's bed to check his breathing. Then looked back towards the exit.

'What's her name again?' he asked.

'Doctor Gimore,' Helen replied, a smile forming on her lips as she traced his look.

'Okay, then, let's see what we got here,' Jess moved on to Greg's stretcher. 'We'll need a thoracic surgeon for him,' he gestured towards Ben before he took Greg's file from his stretcher. 'Hello, Greg. I'm doctor Mariano. It seems your leg is broken, so I'll have it examined and we'll probably put a cast on, allright?'

* * *

'I saw you fraternizing with the enemy,' Rory lifted her head from the book she was reading as Paris entered the small kitchen of their rental.

'Specify,' Paris kicked her shoes off and poured herself some water.

'This morning, cafeteria, dark-haired, smug-faced, know-it-all J. Mariano?' Rory delivered effortlessly.

'Oh, you mean Jess?' Paris asked absentmindedly as she took a fork and a plate with leftover chicken and fries.

'I hoped it would be something more mock-worthy like Joakim or Jeremiah, but I guess I'm not that lucky,' Rory said sulkily.

'You know Jess?' Paris lifted her eyebrows.

'Hey, I think the right question is do _you_ know Jess,' Rory narrowed her eyes. For some reason, she felt slightly betrayed. She hoped she and Paris would both be able to imagine embarrassing stories about the conceited smartass who made her feel on edge every time they met.

'He's the only normal person around here,' Paris shrugged and put her plate into the microwave. 'Plus a couple of nurses maybe. But otherwise, he's my last hope for humanity. Your turn. How do you know Jess?'

'He's the ass who humiliated me on my first night shift,' Rory sighed.

Paris thought her words over for a moment.

'Yeah, he's a bit arrogant at times,' she nodded thoughtfully. 'But he's fine. If he was gay, we could make great best friends.'

Rory blinked a couple of times and decided to not comment on that last part.

'Okay,' she shrugged, deciding to just leave it alone. If the guy was Paris' friend, she would at least try to be civil.

'Did he do something?' Paris asked, taking her chicken out of the microwave.

'What? No. No,' Rory shook her head, 'he didn't do anything. That was just me being silly,' she smiled.

She watched Paris eat for another minute before she sighed and leaned back into her chair.

'You know, I did my first thoracocentesis last night,' Rory said, trying unsuccessfully to suppress a foolish grin.

* * *

**A/N: Feedback keeps me going.**


	3. Not A Stranger

Disclaimer: _Nothing's mine, not even the original idea of setting Lit in hospital surroundings._ _Got a spark from_ **LiteratiLoverNo1's vid** 'Finding Each Other' (great, great work, I love it!) on youtube_._

A/N: **Thank you, everyone - for reading and reviewing! You make writing this so much fun, and I hope you keep telling me what you think, because it matters! :)  
**

* * *

Doctor Jess Mariano took a plastic tray and lined up for his lunch.

He looked around. The hospital cafeteria was full. Dozens and dozens of white coats, having their lunch in bliss, thankful they were granted the opportunity to have lunch at noon, instead of for breakfast.

Quarter past twelve.

_Noon_.

He often had to remind himself whether it was noon or midnight. Night shifts were a physiology deviation. But medicine was a physiology deviation itself, he liked to say.

A few colleagues gave him an acknowledging nod and he responded with the same.

When his look paused over a particular blonde and her friend, an unconscious smirk crept up his lips.

A minute later, he was at their table, granting them a trademark smirk.

'Mind if I join?' he asked with politeness that could grease rusty wheels.

'Yes.'

'No.'

Rory and Paris said almost simultaneously.

His smirk grew even wider.

The two women exchanged looks. Then Rory rolled her eyes and looked up at him.

'Please,' she gestured to the free chair between them with exaggerated politeness, 'do have a seat.'

'What's up?' he asked casually, taking a fry from his plate and popping it into his mouth.

Paris opened her mouth but Rory was quicker.

'Nothing,' Rory replied and dug into her Mac and Cheese.

'Life seems but a quick succession of busy nothings,' Jess shrugged.

Rory's head snapped up and she looked at him for the first time today, finding an amused sparkle in his eyes. So, he wasn't just coincidentally quoting Austen.

Ever since she learned how to read (which was when she was about five, maybe four), Rory had been into books. It was love at first sight. She would spend hours in her room with a good read in hand, completely unaware of time and the fact that another day was slipping away out of her window. In the library at her grandparents' place, she had a special bookshelf that had her name engraved into the old wood, the shelf meant for her only. She kept her favourite books there and Austen had a special place among the othres.

Rory realized she had spaced out and came back to the conversation Paris and Jess were leading.

'We were discussing movies Friday night,' Paris said animatedly. 'You free?' she asked him, ignoring Rory's dreadful look.

Jess cut his steak and shrugged nonchalantly.

'It would be rude for a stranger to intrude your movie night, wouldn't it?' he asked matter-of-factly.

Rory tried to hide a smirk of her own.

_That's right, smart guy. Being her friend doesn't necessarily make you our mutual friend._

Rory finished her second portion of Mac and Cheese with a small smile.

'You're not a stranger,' Paris pointed out confusedly, at a loss for what he was talking about.

Jess left his knife and fork to the side with a triumphant smirk.

'Well, I haven't been introduced, have I?'

Rory frowned.

_Really? Come on, that's such a cheap cue. Such a cheap cue.  
_

'Oh, right,' Paris nodded. 'Jess, this is my roommate Rory; Rory - this is Jess, he works at the... hey, don't you already know each other?' Paris narrowed her eyes. 'I'm pretty sure Rory mentioned something about...'

'Geez, look at the time, I gotta go,' Rory cut in, taking her plate from the table and standing up. 'Later, guys,' she gave them an apologetic nod before adding a halfhearted, 'Nice meeting you,' as she passed Jess by.

Paris looked at her leaving friend confusedly before turning back to Jess.

'Well, she's usually more vocal,' she shrugged.

'I bet,' Jess nodded and bit another piece of his steak, hiding a content smile.

* * *

'You do look charming today,' Helen commented as she saw Jess storm into the room.

He had an unusually (even for him) sulky expression on his face. He didn't even look at Helen as he passed her by.

'Not in the mood, Helen.'

He stopped before Rory and looked at her expectantly.

She stood a little straighter next to the patient's bed and started reporting,

'Thirty eight year old man with acute colicky pain in the right flank iradiating to the right groin. Strarted about an hour ago, accompanied by excretion of small amount of reddish urine. Right Pasternatsky's positive.'

'Helen, urinalysis and prepare 75 diclofenac,' Jess told Helen before turning back to Rory. 'Ever performed emergency ultrasound?' he asked.

She shook her head no.

'Okay, he'll be your first,' he mumbled under his breath while pulling the mobile sonographer towards the bed.

Rory narrowed her eyes at the comment, but sat on the patient's bed anyway.

'John, we're gonna look at your kidneys and bladder and see if a stone causes the pain,' she explained to the patient. He nodded.

She looked up at Jess who put a chair next to the sonographer and sat down. She waited for him to say something, do something, but he simply looked back. Then, abruptly,

'What part of emergency ultrasound did we not make clear?'

Rory frowned.

'But I thought...'

'Nothing's ever done thinking, take the transducer and try,' he cut in impatiently.

She took the transducer and turned the sonographer on. Her palm was sweaty, but she didn't wipe it in her coat. She didn't want him to see how nervous she was.

'John, will you take a breath in and hold it for me?' Rory asked.

'Take a better window,' Jess took her hand along with the transducer and moved it a few inches away.

Rory kept her eyes on the screen, determined to not let him get to her. She felt him mocking her, the clumsy lady doctor who tried to step up from clinical trials to practiacal medicine.

She licked a lip and moved on to the other kidney.

'Never leave it to one window to get an impression,' Jess took the transducer out of her hand and moved it back to the left kidney. 'Here,' he nodded towards the transducer, 'take another window.'

She took the transducer back, biting the inside of her lip. She felt like a dork.

'Okay,' Jess nodded, then pointed towards a button on the sonographer. 'Whenever possible, take a picture of the healthy kidney, as well.'

Rory pressed the button and the sonographer took a picture.

'Now move on to the right one.'

Rory did so.

'Your angle's bad,' he said and turned the transducer into her hand. 'Now take another window. Here,' he pointed at the stone. 'That's the acoustic shadow,' he pointed at the shadow connected to the stone. It resembled the tail of a cometa. 'Take a picture and print it out.'

Rory put the transducer back on the sonographer and began to stand up but he shook his head and gave her the transducer back.

'Take a look at the abdomen before you decide you're finished. Check out the differentials before you rule them out.'

Rory's cheeks burned. He was probably having a great time, while she was feeling increasingly embarrassed and incompetent.

She sat back on the bed, took the transducer and did as he said.

'Gallbladder clear, appendix okay. Liver and spleen seem normal, too.'

Jess turned to Helen.

'Give him the diclofenac, we'll wait for ten minutes before we give him anything else.'

'Are we finished here?' Rory asked quietly, almost between her teeth.

'Yeah,' Jess nodded and stood up.

He moved the chair back to its place and pushed the sonographer towards the other end of the room.

'If you wanted me to step away, you just had to say so,' Rory snapped to the side when he leveled her, pushing the sonographer.

He lifted his eyebrows questioningly.

She was biting the inside of her lip, trying not to lose her cool. Her eyes felt hot. Heck, it had been a double shift for her so far, she was hungry, she needed a long hot shower and she wanted nothing more than to lie back on her bed and fall sleep. Why wasn't she luckier to not come across him today of all days?

'Next time you think I'm only getting in the way, you can be nice enough to say so, instead of pushing me around,' she said in a rather girlish voice she was sure he would mock if given the chance.

_Mommy's girl getting pissed off. Yeah, mock that, Mariano. Crap._

Jess returned the sonographer to its place before studying her, his own look unreadable. A beat passed before he spoke.

'Okay, let's get this over with,' he sighed and made her a sign to follow him into the corridor.

Rory followed reluctantly, exchanging looks with Helen.

'I'm listening,' Jess crossed his arms before his chest expectantly.

'To what?' Rory asked defiantly, finding it hard to keep the eyelock and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

'To whatever's your explanation for your little tirade in there.'

Suddenly Rory felt even more embarrassed than a while ago.

'Look,' she licked a lip, 'I know you think I'm not up to this job, but I'm trying. I'm learning, okay?'

A pause.

'What do you care what I think?' he asked then, furrowing at her last statement.

She pressed her lips stubbornly, refusing to answer. She could feel her cheeks burning.

'I'll tell you then,' he said, exhaling deeply. 'For some stupid reason _you_'re thinking you're not good enough for this job. It's just easier when you put it on me. But it's you. _I_ never said you weren't gonna make it. _You_'re the one having doubts. Wouldn't waste my time teaching you if I did.'

She looked up at him, a mixture of surprise, confusion, hope. Jess met her look. Hell, this hue of blue was unnatural. He inhaled and exhaled slowly before continuing.

'Look,' he said then, his voice considerably gentler. 'Stop taking this so personally, okay? If I'm snappy, I'm snappy. Doesn't have anything to do with you. Are we clear?'

She blinked a couple of times, thinking his words over. It wasn't his words, though. It was the tone. He wasn't mocking her. He really was talking to her, pronouncing the words carefully, gently, like any normal human being would. So far with her theory of him being totally fucked up. Or, at least, if he was, so was she. He wasn't mocking her in there, either. He was trying to teach her. For some reason she believed him about that.

She bit her lip before mumbling,

'About before...' she paused uneasily, pointing her head towards the room, 'Sorry.'

_You were right,_ she wanted to finish but didn't.

A trace of surprise crossed his eyes and then,

'Okay,' he nodded, 'Let's get John drugged, shall we?' he gestured towards the patient.

Rory let out a coy smile. _So... truce? Yeah_, she thought. _Seems like it._

* * *

**A/N: I need your feeback to know what you think. I do wanna know. Your opinions matter. **


	4. Could Lose

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not even the idea. **Inspired by** **LiteratiLoverNo1's vid** 'Finding Each Other' on youtube (which I love and rewatch).

**A/N: Thank you for reading this story and finding it different, good different! I hoped it would be. Your feedback keeps me moving.**

* * *

Rory closed the front door and kicked her shoes to the side. She took her coat off and entered the living room to find her roommate sitting in the center of what was a quite impressing textbook barricade.

Paris was sitting cross-legged in the middle of it all, while some Japanese music was playing loudly in the background.

'Paris?' Rory asked, leaving her coat on the armchair beside the door. 'Paris?' she repeated louder waving a hand, trying to get her friend's attention.

'Got exam, be quick,' Paris pronounced mechanically without bothering to look up at her.

'Um, o-kay,' Rory nodded slowly. 'Why's the music?'

Paris turned another page of the thick textbook lying in front of her.

'Learning the Japanese Gastric Cancer Society Classification for Early Gastric Cancer,' Paris answered.

'_Oh_.'

Paris was an abdominal surgeon. She was the youngest intern in her ward, plus she was one of the few women in there. Her boss had a nazi manner and a mustache (which, according to Rory's mum, closed any further discussion on his character) and Paris got frustrated every now and then about not being up to the standards.

'I'll order Chinese... Japanese,' Rory suggested, but Paris was too engulfed in the pages to pay attention.

'How many lymph node stations does gastric cancer have?' Paris asked.

'No idea.'

'Sixteen.'

'Impressing,' Rory bit back a smile. 'I'll be in my room.'

Rory sat on the bed of her rather small bedroom and took the mobile out of her jeans pocket. She watched it for a while before she dialed. An answering machine beeped cheerfully.

_Hey, if you hear this, I'm probably busy having an awesome time with myself or my golden boy, my forever favorite coffee provider and husband to be, Luke Danes, and if you're still listening to this, you're probably my one and favorite, bright-minded lifesaver daughter, my personal medicine woman Dr. Quinn. I love you Rory, mommy loves you so..._

Beep.

End of message.

'Hey mom.' Rory began, 'It's your one and favorite daughter. I... just wanted to see how preparation's going... Found a dress already? Has Luke changed his mind?Nah, he wouldn't, because you're great and smart and beautiful and so much fun and...' She paused and tucked a strand of hair back. 'I miss you, mom.'

* * *

Rory entered the break room sleepily, suppressing a yawn.

It had been a twelve-hour shift and she was one foot in bed already. At least her mind was.

'What the hell were you thinking?'

Rory jumped a little, thinking someone was talking to her. Then she saw Jess and Helen standing before each other belligerently.

'Fuck this. How do you even do this without telling me?' Jess fumed.

'I thought...' Helen tried, but he cut in,

'No, you weren't. You weren't thinking, Helen. Because if you were, you would think about _my_ name standing there and _me_ taking the leftovers of this whole shit, and you would know better. Did you really think I wouldn't find out?'

'Believe what you want,' Helen lifted her chin, 'I'd do it all over again.'

'Fuck it, Helen,' he burst out, 'I could lose my license for that, do you realize what this means?'

Helen crossed her hands defiantly, while he started pacing to and fro, both of them unaware of Rory's presence in the room. Then, as if remembering something, Jess stopped.

'I could lose my license for that,' he said to himself, 'Jeez,' he ran both hands through his hair and shook his head. 'I'm out of here,' he mumbled and walked out of the room, passing by Rory blindly.

As soon as the door closed, Helen's stubborn posture fell apart and she dropped onto the sofa, covering her face with her hands.

Rory took a couple of steps and sat down next to her.

'Hey,' Rory put a hand on Helen's shoulder. 'Hey. Helen.'

Helen sniffed, her shoulders shaking.

'You know how he is,' Rory said reassuringly, 'He was just angry.'

'He's right,' Helen sniffed.

Rory shook her head.

'He's an ass.'

'He was right,' Helen insisted. 'I did something I shouldn't have. I should've told him.'

Rory studied her friend for a moment.

'How bad is it?' she asked then. Helen started shaking harder.

'Pretty bad.'

'Okaay,' Rory sighed, 'tell me everything.'

Then Helen told Rory everything. Or at least most of it.

Peter Smith was a patient who came in six months ago with tumor-caused bowel obstruction. He had developed peritonitis and was unconscious by the time Jess finished another operation and could examine him. Peter needed urgent laparotomy and Jess performed the operation, so that Peter lived for six more months after that. However, the man had multiple metastases and passed away last week. Now, Peter's family wanted to press charges against the hospital, because the doctor who performed the surgery did it without obtaining the patient's informed consent first.'

'This is bullshit. The patient was unconscious,' Rory shook her head. 'It was an urgent surgery, he did what he had to do, the patient lived. What's their problem?'

'Yeah, he lived,' Helen sighed. 'That's exactly why the family couldn't press charges earlier. Peter was so grateful, he wouldn't have let them. Jess gave him six more months to live.'

'I don't understand. Why does the family wanna sue then?'

'Peter was a millionaire. He held half of East Coast furnishing business. His company used to revolve around him and him only, but being sick, he couldn't run it the way he used to. It started going down. If he had died that night, his company would immediately go into his heirs' possession. But, thanks to Jess, Peter lived for six more months. His company lost millions of dollars during these months.'

'But this is absurd! They're suing because they didn't lay hands on his company earlier!'

'That's why I did something,' Helen wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. 'I... I falsified Peter's informed consent, so that his family wouldn't have back-up for the charges.'

Rory gave Helen a look.

'Oh, Helen...'

'I know,' Helen sniffed. 'I know. It was stupid. But they're just a bunch of greedy bastards and I... I wanted him to be okay, you know?' Helen looked up at Rory, her dark eyes sparkling. Rory nodded. 'I wanted them to take down the charges,' Helen shrugged helplessly.

Rory let a small sigh out.

'You did what you thought was best,' she said thoughtfully. 'And it worked, right? They took down the charges, didn't they?'

Helen nodded.

'Okay, so now we pray no one digs into this any further. Helen?'

Helen looked up.

'You think it was worth it? Risking your own skin for his?'

Helen's brows furrowed for a moment. Then she gave Rory a small nod.

'Yeah, it is.'

'Then,' Rory smiled comfortingly, 'if he's really the man you think him to be, he'll understand.'

'But he can't lose his license,' Helen shook her head, 'He has to be working here, so that he can... sorry,' Helen

stood up suddenly.

Rory stood up, too, confused.

'Helen?'

'Sorry, I've already said too much,' Helen stammered while hurrying towards the door.

When she reached for the door handle, she stopped and turned back.

'Thanks, Rory.'

Rory blinked, unable to figure out Helen's sudden change of heart, but nodded anyway.

'You're welcome... I guess.'

After Helen left, Rory sat back on the sofa, wondering what was that Helen wasn't telling her.

'_He can't lose his license. He has to be working here,_' Helen's words sounded in Rory's head. She thought their conversation over, but didn't come to any conclusions, so she decided to just leave it alone and go home. Her bed was awaiting her.

* * *

**A/N: Opinions are always welcome. And anticipated.**


	5. Worth The Trouble

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not even the idea. **Inspired by** **LiteratiLoverNo1's vid** 'Finding Each Other' on youtube (which I love and rewatch).

**A/N: Thank you for reading this story and finding it different, good different! I hoped it would be. Your feedback keeps me moving.**

* * *

'Morning, Helen,' Rory gave Helen a smile as she and Ezra pushed the stretcher on to a free room. 'Where's Jess?'

Helen's face fell at the mention of Jess and she shrugged, shoulders slumped.

'He swapped shifts so he'd have another nurse,' she answered.

'What? Why?'

Helen gave her a look that said 'y_ou know why_'. Rory nodded quickly. Yeah, of course. Stubborn, pigheaded Jess.

'So who's on duty with you now?' Rory asked.

'Doctor Forester. He's new, vascular surgeon.'

'Okaay,' Rory nodded and then pointed towards the teenage boy on the stretcher, 'Our friend Brandon here got bitten by a dog. He has a couple of lacerations and a haema...'

'It wasn't a dog, it was the Hound of Baskervilles,' the boy cut in sulkily, obviously offended by the underestimation of his unfortunate experience.

'Yorkshire terrier,' Rory explained to Helen, trying to bite back a smirk.

'An _evil_ Yorkshire terrier,' Brandon corrected her and both women smiled.

'Whatever you say, Brandon,' Rory gave the boy a friendly nod. 'He was trying to impress his girlfriend by stealing flowers from a garden, but as soon as he climbed over the fence, Chi-chi came into the picture.'

'Chi-chi is such a misleading name for a hellhound,' Helen shook her head.

'Ladies,' a tall man in white coat approached them and stretched his hand towards Rory, 'Doctor Forester. Dean.'

Rory shook his hand.

'Rory Gilmore. And this,' she pointed towards the patient. 'is Brandon. The Yorkie of Baskervilles bit him.'

'Hey, I told you it was a wicked thing! Quite big for its breed,' Brandon said self-consciously.

'And a brave young man you are, Brandon,' doctor Forester smiled at the boy. 'Okay, let's see what we got here... When was your last vaccination, Brandon?'

'Last year. Do you think the dog had rabies?'

'Mm, I doubt it,' doctor Forester shook his head, 'Okay, now we're gonna wash and disinfect the wounds, and that beautiful nurse over there will prepare a tetanus immunoglobulin syringe.'

Helen made a face at his last words, but prepared the syringe anyway. Rory could tell Helen wasn't in for the polite type, especially after being used to working with Jess, who wasn't exactly the gentleman of the year.

'Okay, we'll be going guys,' she smiled at Helen and doctor Forester. 'And be brave, Brandon,' she gave the boy a wink.

'Rory...' she heard as she and Ezra started to leave and turned back.

'Nice meeting you,' doctor Forester smiled.

'Yeah,' she smiled back. 'You too.'

Even without looking at Helen, Rory could tell the nurse was making a face. _'He's just so unnervingly polite,'_ she imagined Helen saying later on in the break room. _'I don't trust polite people,'_ Helen would shake her head while changing out of her uniform. Rory smiled at the mental image.

* * *

'I don't like him,' Helen grunted while putting her shoes on after work.

'Why?' Rory asked while folding her uniform. 'He seems fine. Trying to make an impression.'

'That's exactly why,' Helen made a face. 'I don't trust polite people.'

Rory let out a small laugh at her friend's words. Just then the door opened and Jess got in, dressed in his uniform, carrying a coffee in hand. _Night shift._ When he saw Helen, he stopped at the door. Their eyes stood locked for a moment and then he was leaving, his coffee left on the desk beside the door.

Rory darted a look between Helen and the place where Jess had just been, then back to Helen. The woman's face had fallen and she looked down.

'Okay, enough with this,' Rory shook her head and went out of the room.

'Jess,' she caught up with him as fas as the back exit. He was walking pretty fast for a man with such lazy manner. He was still angry.

She stopped beside him, next to the back door exit.

'Jess.'

'What?' Jess snapped to the side while lighting a cigarette.

'What are you doing?' she asked accusingly, a teacher dissatisfied with a student.

'An ancient ceremonial ritual invented by Native Americans,' he explained before taking a drag and narrowing his eyes. 'It's called smoking.'

'I meant Helen, smartass,' Rory rolled her eyes.

'Nothing,' he shrugged.

Rory looked at him and quirked and eyebrow.

'Oh, come on, do you really want me to believe you don't care anything about Helen?'

'I don't want you to believe anything,' he muttered, looking to the side.

Rory studied him in disbelief.

'Why should you be so bitter with the whole world? You're acting like you're pissed with everyone all the time.'

'And why should you care what I act like?'

'Because Helen is my friend.'

'And that automatically makes it your business to pry into my stuff. I don't think so.'

Rory shook her head and started to leave, but then stopped and turned back, feeling her cheeks heat up.

'You know what?' she made a step towards him. 'Helen risked her own skin out there. She risked her _own_ ass, in order to save _yours_. Maybe she did it the wrong way allright, but she got the blow for you, and you must be an idiot not to see how rare this is.'

Rory paused and blue met brown in silent battle. His features were so sharp, so categorically defined. Not a trace of doubt. She was rushing into a stone, but she felt some kind of inner conviction that she was doing the right thing breaking herself against him.

He didn't say anything, although she could well tell by the shift of brown in his eyes that he had a couple of bitter comments at the tip of his tongue. He kept them in, though. She had caught his attention.

She made an effort to calm down and when she spoke, her voice was even.

'For some reason, Helen believes you're worth the trouble. I hope she wasn't wrong.'

With that, she turned and left. Jess felt something burning his fingers. He threw the stub down and stabbed it with his foot.

* * *

**A/N: Feedback keeps me going.**


	6. A Secret

Disclaimer: I disclaim everyhting, except my love for **LiteratiLoverNo1's vid** 'Finding Each Other' on youtube, which inspired this story in the first place :)

**A/N: Thank you for reading and taking the time to let me know what you think ;) You're the reason why this story is being updated quite regularly :)**

**This was hell of a hard chapter to write. Hope it keeps you hooked...**

* * *

'What are you doing Thursday night?' Helen asked Rory as they met in the elevator before work.

'No idea,' Rory shrugged. 'Probably working. Or sleeping. This encloses my life schedule lately.'

'You're not working,' Helen shook her head.

Rory gave her a look.

'What?' Helen threw her hands up defiantly. 'I checked,'

Rory smiled.

'Of course you did. So, where are we going Thursday night? You're taking me somewhere, right?'

'Celtics versus Lakers,' Helen delivered happily.

Rory paused to study her friend. She had never seen Helen this excited. The woman was practically beaming.

'I didn't know you were into basketball,' Rory smiled, amused by Helen's enthusiasm.

'That's not basketball, that's the NBA,' Helen looked truly offended by the generalization. A true appreciator.

'Okaay,' Rory nodded thoughtfully. 'So, how did you get tickets?'

'I didn't,' Helen shrugged.

Rory rose an eyebrow. Sure as hell, she wasn't sneaking through security on a basketball game, NBA or not.

'I found them in my locker last night,' Helen explained.

'_Oh_.'

Rory bit back a grin.

'What?' Helen asked defiantly.

Rory shrugged.

'Nothing.'

'You coming?'

'Do I have a choice?'

'No.'

'I thought so.'

* * *

'That was nice,' Rory leaned over Jess' shoulder as she lined up after him in the cafeteria.

He turned to face her, eyebrow quirked.

'The shrimp?' he threw a doubtful look at his plate.

'The tickets,' Rory shook her head, determined not to let him sidestep the topic.

His face got a deliberately disinterested expression.

'What tickets.'

'The ones you put in Helen's locker,' Rory explained effortlessly and added some more fries to the pile in her plate.

'I didn't,' Jess said evenly and took a plate of green salad.

'The ones you _didn't_ put in Helen's locker then,' Rory shrugged. 'As you wish. It was nice anyway,' she took a piece of pizza, lasagna and some fish chips.

Jess paused to give her a look.

'That's your lunch?' he asked disbelievingly.

'Mm, no,' Rory shook her head thoughtfully. 'Still wondering about the dessert,' she explained, taking a muffin and a bowl of ice-cream onto her tray.

'People around the world are starving, you know,' he commented as they moved on to the cash desk.

'I'm focused on fighting obesity,' Rory explained matter-of-factly, taking a brownie.

'By eating all the junk in the world?' Jess asked.

'Excatly.'

He threw her another incredulous look before shaking his head.

'Remind me to never buy you lunch,' he muttered.

She took a fish stick out of his plate and put it over her fries. Jess rolled his eyes.

'Jeez.'

Rory just shrugged in reply.

* * *

'Where did he learn all this stuff?' Rory asked thoughtfully. She was walking with Helen on their way back after the basketball game.

'Eh?' Helen asked, unable to figure out Rory's question.

'Jess.' Rory explained. 'He can't be much older, but he has so much medical experience.'

'He's been spending most of his time in the hospital since he was seventeen,' Helen answered without thinking and then bit her tongue.

'How come?' Rory frowned.

Helen thought of a way to change the topic quickly, or she was getting herself into deep water.

'You like him, don't you?' she asked.

'What?. No,' Rory huffed dismissively and wrapped herself tighter in her coat as a gust of cold November wind crept up her body. 'I was just curious, that's all.'

Helen smirked, glad she managed to switch topics.

'He likes you too,' she said matter-of-factly.

Rory rolled her eyes.

'Sure. Because he likes anyone at all.'

'He does,' Helen insisted.

They kept walking for a while before Rory let a nervous sigh out.

'Not that I care, but how would you know?'

'I know,' Helen shrugged stubbornly.

'You know,' Rory repeated. 'Now that you mention it, it makes prefect sense.'

'Look,' Helen slowed down and turned to Rory, 'Jess may be bitter and,' she stopped to think for a word, 'God's my witness, he can be pretty difficult most of the time but he... he has his reasons, okay?'

'Huh?.' Rory asked, not getting a word. 'You keep going cryptic every time we refer to him, and now I'm officially at a loss here.'

'It's just...' Helen searched the right words, 'There are things you don't know about Jess.'

'_Really_? Hadn't noticed,' Rory rolled her eyes. 'Come on, J Edgar,' she made Helen a sign to start walking again, 'let's move, it's getting cold.'

* * *

In a quiet room on an upper hospital floor, the sound of mechanical ventilation scraped through sterile silence. There were lights on - a cold shade of yellow. Sick yellow.

Doctor Jess Mariano sat at the end of a chair that stood a couple of steps from the bed. A fine distance that could hardly protect anyone from anything.

Death was lingering around this place - a hungry hound that was denied a meal. A cold notion creeping up the skin, leaving goose bumps behind.

Jess ran a palm down his nape, smoothing a couple of raised hairs. It was insane that, years later, he would still get nervous when he came in here.

He placed both elbows on his knees stiffly and stared ahead at wires and tubes, designed to prevent Nature from finalizing a decision. Nature was probably watching on right now, a wicked, derisive grin over curved lips.

Jess let out a deep sigh and stood up. There was nothing worse than the silence when there was nothing left to be said.

* * *

Doctor Mariano entered the emergency ward and followed where the nurse led.

'Twenty-eight year old man with paroxysmal supraventricular tachycardia,' doctor Gilmore started reporting. 'Felt his heart pounding, shortness of breath and chest pain after entering a ninety-degree sauna...' Rory paused to take a look at Jess and made a step closer. 'You okay?' she asked in a lower voice, 'You look pale.'

Jess looked up at her and paused for a moment, as if considering his answer.

Rory made another step closer, studying him worriedly.

'You look like you just saw a ghost,' she said quietly, more to herself than to him.

Jess stared at her and for a moment he let himself sink into blue abyss. There was a hypnotizing feeling of unperturbed ease that started entering his system, salty waves washing over freshly reopened wounds, leaving an adstringent feeling behind. A moment of pure azure serenity.

Then the moment was over.

'Carotid massage, one ampule of verapamil and continuous ECG record,' Jess instructed mechanically, his eyes still on Rory's. With that, he broke the eyelock and turned towards the patient.

'Hello, mister... Barlow,' Jess read from the man's file. 'You experienced any episodes of tachycardia in the past?'

Rory watched as Jess approached the patient and started examining him. She felt numb. Like, just for a moment, she was granted a glimpse of a world she never suspected existed. It was a strange feeling of accidentally stumbling over a secret and almost simultaneously deciding to keep it safe.

_So, you can hurt like anyone. You're not a cyborg. Your secret's safe with me._

* * *

**A/N: Your reviews let me know what you think... I do wanna know.**


	7. Chain Reaction

_Disclaimer:_ I disclaim everything. **LiteratiLoverNo1's vid** 'Finding Each Other' on youtube started this - I watched it, felt for it and had to do something about it. Here's the result.

**A/N: I wanna know what you think - liked it or not, your opinion matters and is equally anticipated.**

* * *

'Washington Correctional Facility call,' the ambulance speaker sounded and Rory threw a glance at Ezra.

'Ever taken a prison call before?' he asked.

Rory shook her head no.

'Well, there's a first for everything,' Ezra shrugged. 'Just... don't be easily surprised?' he suggested.

Rory looked incredulously.

'Sometimes inmates do strange things in order to get some time out,' Ezra explained as he steered the ambulance out of the hospital parking lot.

'What things?' Rory frowned.

'Swallowing tape-covered razors,' the man shrugged.

'What?.'

'An inmate had managed to swallow four.'

'Jeez.'

'Yeah. The X-ray was impressing.'

'I bet.'

In a couple of minutes Ezra parked the ambulance in front of the prison building. The walls were covered by electrical wire. Rory shivered slightly.

'Ezra,' she let a breath out, 'I'm a little nervous.'

'Don't worry,' Ezra gave her a wink before he got out of the ambulance and took the first aid kit from the back seat. 'It's chain reaction. You watch for the patient, I watch for you.'

Rory smiled back.

'Thanks, Ezra.'

'Any time.'

They started for the main entrance where an official was already waiting for them.

* * *

'When are you gonna take me back?' Helen joined Jess on his way to one of the ER rooms.

'I'm not,' Jess muttered and quickened his step.

'I've always been loyal to you,' Helen insisted.

'Loyalty would mean telling the truth,' Jess huffed.

'I never lied to you.'

'You _kept_ it from me.'

They entered the patient's room and Jess went towards the sink. Helen followed.

'Thanks for the tickets, though' she said casually.

'What tickets,' Jess asked evenly while scrubbing his hands.

'The NBAs you got for me three days ago,' Helen chirped, disinfecting her hands as well.

'What are you doing?' Jess paused, watching her.

She held a pair of sterile gloves out for him to put on.

'Assisting you,' she shrugged.

'Save it, Louise is here to...'

'Oh, you mean the young preppy nurse I sent up to check on that patient with pulmonary embolism on floor fourteen?'

'There's been no such patient tonight.'

'Oops,' Helen put a hand before her mouth, feigning surprise. 'My bad.'

Jess rolled his eyes and put the gloves on, hiding his amusement behind irritation.

Helen took a spinal tap kit and followed him to one of the beds.

'I need...'

'LP set, observation for meningitis, bed five.' Helen finished for him readily.

Jess gave her a look.

'I just know,' Helen shrugged.

'Yeah,' Jess sighed, 'You just know.'

Helen smiled smugly.

* * *

'Where's the patient?' Rory asked as the official led them on through what was probably the fifteenth corridor since they entered.

'Infirmary.'

'Are we making circles around it?' Rory asked a little impatiently. 'I feel like I'itoi.'

She felt a gentle squeeze over her shoulder and turned to see Ezra.

'Don't be nervous,' he smiled encouragingly. 'Nothing bad is gonna happen.'

'I just have this uneasy feeling,' Rory sighed. 'It's nothing, though.'

The official entered a room with shut blinds and then made them a sign to follow.

'Here we go,' Rory muttered to herself, making an effort to stand taller.

* * *

The hospital speaker crackled from one of the upper corners and Jess looked up.

'Available team at the back exit, available team is needed at the back exit...'

He exchanged a look with Helen and they started for the back exit.

'Something happened,' Helen shook her head as they saw the two policemen pulling a stretcher towards them.

'Is that Rory?' Helen narrowed her eyes.

Rory was kneeling on the stretcher on top of the patient, performing external cardiac massage.

'Poisoned inmate, started with ataxia, nausea and vomiting, then he got tachycardic,' Rory reported exasperatedly while doing rapid chest compressions. 'Come on, Ray, don't even think of standing up a Gilmore.'

'Monitor, Adrenaline, Atropine and intubation set,' Jess demanded after checking the man's pulse and pupils.

They entered a room.

'Defibrillator,' Jess mumbled as soon as the man was attached to a monitor. 'Defibrillator, now!' he said out louder then.

Rory got off the stretcher and started unbuttoning the man's shirt.

'No time, tear it,' Jess said, taking the defibrillator electrodes in both hands.

Rory nodded and tore the shirt, uncovering the patient's chest.

'Charging,' Jess said loudly.  
Rory stepped back.

'Keep away!'

Ray's body convulsed and dropped back onto the stretcher.

'Again,' Jess said after checking the monitor. 'Keep away!'

Another electroshock. Rory looked up at the monitor. Nothing.

'Again...' Jess recharged the electrodes. 'Keep away!'

'It's not working,' Rory shook her head. 'Helen, we need to ventilate him.'

Helen nodded and gave her an ambu mask.

Jess started compressing the man's chest.

'Atropine,' Rory demanded while ventilating the man with the ambu.

Jess checked Ray's vitals and shook his head to Helen.

'Come on, Helen, Atropine, now!' Rory repeated.

Helen obliged.

'Defibrillation,' Rory instructed and Jess charged the electrodes again, exchanging another look with Helen.

'Keep away!' Jess warned before defibrillating.

The ECG on the monitor kept a straight line.

'Adrenaline,' Rory told Helen.

Helen obliged reluctantly.

'Intubation set!'

'Rory...' Helen tried, but Rory cut in, 'Intubation set, Helen!'

Helen obliged.

'Come on, Ray,' Rory pleaded, fitting the tube into the man's trachea. 'I'm in,' she gave back the laryngoscope. 'Ventilation.'

'Rory,' Jess said quietly, but she ignored him. She linked the laryngeal tube to the mechanical ventilation monitor and then went back to external cardiac massage.

'Come on, Ray, don't stand me up,' she panted while compressing the man's chest rhythmically.

'It's over, Rory,' Jess said calmly but firmly.

She made a few more compressions, then slowed down.

'Ror...' Helen put a hand on her shoulder, but Rory shrugged her off.

Then Rory made a step back, inspecting Ray's lifeless body on the stretcher. His eyes were half shut and looked glazed. Rory took a breath in and left the room quickly.

She ran into the break room, taking the uniform jacket off and throwing it on the floor. She felt for the wall and sat on one of the leather benches in the lockers room, putting her head in her palms.

She could feel her heart racing, limbs numb. Her head was a rushing storm. She felt her eyes pricking and her stomach was a tight knot.

Then she felt the leather of the bench sink under someone's weight.

She looked up to see Jess.

He was leaning over his knees, head to the side, studying her with a serious expression on his face.

As she looked up at him, she felt her eyes pricking even more. His concern was somehow much harder to bear than his criticism right now.

'Go away, Jess,' she sighed, hiding her face back in her hands. She tried to breathe in and out slowly, deeply, hoping this would help her calm down. Her stomach felt really sick.

She stood motionless for a while. Probably a few minutes. Probably more. Her head was swimming through images, skipping between visions of electrical wire fence and ECG monitors. Minutes kept passing, she didn't keep track. She thought maybe she was dreaming and last night would hopefully be all gone when she woke up.

'I don't know what I thought,' she spoke then, her voice raspy. She knew Jess was still there, although he hadn't said anything.

'I wanted to do something that matters,' she continued, more to herself than to him. 'Have a life that would count. Become a doctor, save lives. I must've thought...' she paused and shook her head, a drop trying to escape her eyelid and slide down her palm.

'You know what struck me?' she let out a humorless laugh, 'In there, I wasn't even afraid that the patient wouldn't make it... I was _shocked_ by how _fast_ it happens. Like somebody switched him off... Life goes so quickly.'

'When I first lost a patient, two years ago, I went to a karaoke,' Jess spoke then.

Rory looked up and frowned, her eyelashes sparkling.

'I wanted to feel... alive. I guess.' he shrugged. 'It took me less than a verse of '_Library Pictures_' to get the exact amount of humiliation that did the trick,' he admitted then, a smile tugging at the ends of his lips.

Rory stared at him for a moment before she let out a weak laugh. Then another one, more confident and sincere. Jess smiled too.

'You're gonna be all right, Gilmore,' he said and stood up then.

'Jess...'

'Yeah?'

'Thanks.'

He gave her an acknowledging nod before he left.

* * *

**A/N: Your opinion matters.**


	8. Twitch

_Disclaimer_: I disclaim everything except for the fact that **LiteratiLoverNo1's vid** 'Finding Each Other' on youtube inspired this in the first place and that I love her work for making me wanna write :)

**A/N: I know I promised more of Jess' secret revealed here, but this chapter turned out a little different from what I had initially planned. Hope it keeps you following anyway... Your reviews keep this story going :)**

* * *

'Paris?' Rory called for what seemed like the hundredth time this evening. 'Paris, you okay?'

Rory knocked on the bathroom door again.

'Paris, I'm getting worried, is everything okay?'

Rory continued knocking until the door finally opened, revealing a red-eyed crying Paris.

'Hey...' Rory put an arm round her friend. 'Hey, what's wrong?' she asked, leading Paris to sit on the couch.

Instead of a reply, Paris shook her head and sobbed twice.

'Paris,' Rory tilted her head so she could face her, 'what happened?'

Paris just kept shaking her head.

'Look,' Rory started, 'considering the fact that you're you and you've been crying, I'm apt to believe that hell may freeze and I'm really getting worried right now. So, unless you tell me what's going on, I'm gonna keep asking the question over and over again. Paris, what's up?'

Paris opened her palm to reveal a white stick.

'Oh boy,' Rory looked at the plus on the strip then back at Paris. 'Congratulations?' she tried. 'It's Doyle's, right?'

'Of course it's Doyle's,' Paris rolled her eyes.

'He knows?'

'What?. No! Of course not!'

'Of course?'

'Rory, I'm a second year surgical intern, I can't get pregnant right now.'

'What?!.'

'Maybe later, when the time is right...'

'Paris, what are you talking about?'

Paris wiped her eyes and gave Rory a meaningful look.

'No.'

Paris looked up at her friend, surprised by her emotional reaction.

'What?'

'I said no,' Rory shook her head. 'You're not making such a decision alone.'

'Guess what, I already have.'

'Well, you'll have to reconsider.'

'No I won't.'

'You aren't even gonna tell Doyle, are you?' Rory asked disbelievingly.

'Nope.'

'Then I'll tell him.'

'Not unless you want me to kill you in your sleep.'

'Planning two murders in a row in such a short time. Wow.'

Paris drew her head back to look at Rory.

'Hey, you don't get to decide what's best for me.'

'And you're not gonna do something stupid just because what happened doesn't fit your life schedule. You two love each other, you started another life together, do you really think you can do this and still pretend that nothing ever happened? That's insane.'

'Oh my god,' Paris put a hand before her mouth, as if remembering something, 'Rory, we're pregnant. And it's all your fault.'

'That's right! Ice... man. I am dangerous.'

'Did you just quote Top Gun?'

'Yep.'

'Damn,' Paris shook her head. And then she suddenly looked up. 'I gotta tell Doyle.'

'About time,' Rory smiled with relief.

* * *

Rory entered the elevator and rested her back against the wall, closing her eyes. It had been a fourteen-hour shift and she was moving on autopilot.

It was somewhere after midnight and it was raining heavily outside. Rory considered spending the night on the sofa of the break room. How uncomfortable could it be? She started to doze off.

The elevator doors opened and closed.

'Once upon a dream, da-la-la-ah,' she heard a man's voice recite and smiled before opening her eyes.

'I'm really not supposed to speak to strangers,' she turned to face Jess, 'but we've met before.'

'Late shift?' Jess leaned back against the wall next to her.

'You too?'

'Mhm,' he sighed, massaging his temples. 'I'm considering spending the night on the couch of the break room,' he rested his head back and closed his eyes.

'Sorry, mister, couch's already taken.'

'Huh?' he quirked an eyebrow and turned to face her.

'That's right,' Rory smirked. 'You can take the floor, though.'

'And how come you get to decide who takes the couch?'

'The floor is better for your scoliosis.'

'I don't have scoliosis.'

'But you're occupationally endangered,' she explained wisely. 'You need prevention.'

'Huh.'

'You tend to say that a lot, don't you?' she smiled, amused.

He gave her a look. The elevator stopped and the doors slid open. They kept the eyelock for another moment.

'You know what, we're gonna handle this the right way,' he said then, stepping outside.

'Oh yeah?' Rory asked, following him into the corridor towards the break room. 'And what would that be?'

'We're gonna play rock, paper, scissors,' Jess answered seriously.

Rory laughed out loud. They reached the break room and Jess opened the door to reveal the sight of a doctor making out with one of the nurses on the couch.

'Jeez,' both he and Rory huffed and stopped in their track.

The couple all but jumped off the couch, both adjusting their uniforms. They hurried out, passing by Rory and Jess awkwardly.

'Night, Dean,' Rory smirked as doctor Forrester passed her by, smoothing his white coat. He smiled uncomfortably and ran a hand through his hair before giving her an awkward nod.

'You know that guy?' Jess frowned as his eyes followed Dean and the nurse until they were out of sight.

'Barely,' Rory shrugged, 'Helen got her shifts scheduled with him after you decided to kick her out.'

Jess didn't say anything, but his expression darkened a bit.

'She was right about him, though,' Rory said thoughtfully.

'Helen is usually right about everything,' Jess sighed and took his stethoscope off. He cracked his neck warily. 'Jeez,'he sighed, 'I need sleep.'

Rory suppressed a yawn.

'You can take The Depraved Couch now,' Rory shrugged, feigning nonchalance.

'Like hell I would,' Jess rolled his eyes. 'Come on, go change, I'll give you a lift.'

Rory started for the lockers room but then stopped and turned back.

'Look, you don't need to...' her throat twitched as she saw Jess taking off the upper part of his uniform. He didn't seem to have heard her, as he took the tee he had prepared on the desk and put it on.

Rory's ears started pounding and she could tell they had gone hot and red. She tucked a strand behind her ear and turned back to enter the lockers room.

_'You like him, don't you?'_ Helen's words sounded in her head as she opened her locker. She shook the thought away.

'I thought you'd give me a lift,' Rory said fifteen minutes later while Jess was unsuccessfully trying to catch a cab.

'Huh?' Jess asked, getting back under the ambulance cover, scruffing raindrops off his hair with both hands.

'I thought you had a car,' Rory said louder, trying to get the words over the sound of a thunder.

'You never lived in a big city before, have you?' Jess replied louder, too.

Rory gave him a look.

'What is _this_ supposed to mean?'

'Nothing,' Jess shook his head, smirking, 'it's just a parking suicide to own a car in New York, that's all.'

'You lived here your whole life?' Rory asked.

'Since I was sixteen. I was born in California,' he shrugged.

'Wow.'

'Not really.'

'You kidding? You surf?'

'Jeez,' he shook his head, laughing, 'why is everyone so obssessed with California and surfing?'

'You mean, beside the obvious?' Rory quirked an eyebrow.

Jess rubbed his nape, still smiling.

'Here's the cab,' Rory pointed her head at the oncoming car.

'Yeah,' Jess nodded. 'Here it is.'

Rory thought she sensed a trace of disappointment in his voice, but then she decided she was just assigning her own feelings to him.

Jess thought her eyes were an especially hypnotizing shade of blue tonight and the cab's headlights reflected in them in a way that made something within him twitch.

They got into the cab and told the driver the addresses, after which they spent the rest of the drive in silence.

* * *

**Your reviews keep me going...**


	9. Spectrum

Disclaimer: Nothing's mine. Watched **LiteratiLoverNo1's vid** 'Finding Each Other' on youtube and got a spark. **Quotes** used in this chapter come from Matthew Koma and Zedd's acoustic version of** 'Spectrum'**, which I don't own, either.

**Thanks to everyone who takes the time to read and review**, and thank you so much, **davewilsonhouse**! Your notes are very helpful! :) As to Rory performing thoracocentesis, Ben could totally sue the hospital, no doubt about it! The thing is, at least in my country, young doctors often have to make decisions and perform manipulations they aren't quite trained for (at least practically). I mean, thoretically, yes, there's lots and lots of training, but there are many firsts when a young doctor starts practicing, especially in emergency medicine. I wanted this out in this story. But you're totally right that what Rory did was questionably legal... maybe even illegal. Yet, there are many situations when you have to choose between following the rules and breaking them in order to help someone who needs it badly. She got away with it this time. However, in the next chapters the problem of the legal grounds of a doctor's actions reappears, hope it keeps your interest :)

**SO,** **on with Jess' secret...**

* * *

_ ~Breathing you in when I want you out...~_

Somewhere in every hospital there are rooms like this one. Rooms too quiet to talk in. Rooms with questionmarks piling up the door, dripping down the IV line. Rooms that keep life under strict control, because sometimes it tends to slip away and people try to leash it.

Doctor Mariano closed the door after himself.

Calculated infusion versus expected effusion. Fractional concentration and partial pressure. The mathematics of keeping one's hopes up. Electricity running through cables and wires, mediating life through. Perhaps people who didn't believe in God found it easier to believe in the rhythmical ups and downs of a saturation line - maybe it was just easier to prove.

Jess Mariano had never been known to be religious. He was a man of proof.

In times like these, one prayed that short circuit didn't erase those colorful digits on the monitor. Jess Mariano prayed that he would be at close range when that happened.

* * *

_~... Finding our truth in a hope of doubt...~_

'What are you reading?' Rory asked, approaching Jess at the cafeteria.

He was sitting at an empty table, reading.

She dragged a chair back and sat across from him, putting her heavily packed lunch tray down on the table.

'_Bunny Suicides_?' Rory let out a short laugh as she read the book title. 'I'm impressed.'

He continued reading and Rory inspected him, nodding slowly.

'And you're in a bad mood,' she mumbled to herself. 'I'll entertain myself then,' she shrugged and started eating her lunch.

'You do this a lot, don't you?' he looked up a while later.

'Do what?' Rory frowned, munching.

'Pile up more lunch than a small Somalian village can survive on,' Jess nodded at her full tray.

'Like you know anything about the eating habits of a Gilmore,' she rolled her eyes.

'Excuse me, but I've seen you eat,' Jess pointed out, his eyes meeting Rory's, a cold glint crossing his brown irises.

'And still insist on trying to make me regret it. Have you no self preservation instinct?' she challenged.

'I do. I don't commit carbohydrate suicide every twenty-four hours,' he put the book down and folded his arms.

'Food prude,' Rory narrowed her eyes.

'Food pimp,' he replied immediately after.

'Ouch.'

'So, Paris is moving out with Doyle,' he changed topic then, watching Rory devastate her lunch.

Rory looked up to give him a look.

'What?' he shrugged, 'I heard.'

'You mean Helen told you,' Rory suggested.

He looked around, looking for nothing in particular.

'I can't help she wants to talk,' he said then.

'She's just trying to gossip-bargain you to take her back.'

He put a hand before his mouth, feigning shock.

'You think?'

'And you want her back, too,' Rory insisted, determined not to let him get evasive.

'Huh.'

'So, when are you taking her back?' she asked directly.

He leaned further back into his chair, blinking blatantly.

'I'm not.'

'Please,' Rory rolled her eyes. 'When?'

His held her look for a moment. Then, shortly,

'Next week.'

'Good boy,' she smiled contently.

Jess opened his mouth to protest, but stared at the way her features rearranged when she was smiling. And that was when the lights went off.

* * *

_~... Lying inside our quiet drama...~ _

'Jess...' Rory stopped running, trying to catch her breath, then started running again.

Jess was actually a cyborg and his brain had so far been functioning on electricity. Once electricity was off, Jess The Cyborg got stricken by sudden madness...

Or at least that was the only reasonable explanation Rory could come up with, when, just as electricity in the cafeteria went off, Jess threw the book aside and started running towards the exit.

She started after him, some insane inner instinct telling her there was something behind his sudden running tendencies. So, madness was contagious.

She followed him up the floors, catching up with him on an upper floor of the intensive care unit. He blasted into one of the rooms and she stumbled after him.

'Jess, what the...' she went into the room and trailed off as soon as she saw the woman lying on the bed inside. Her body was covered in tubes and cables and all monitor alarms were set off.

Jess was frantically pushing the buttons of the monitors, checking her pulse and ECG line every few seconds.

Rory made a few steps and stopped behind him. She took a look at the respiratory support monitor.

'It's false alarm,' she said quietly, afraid she would startle him.

He continued checking the screens of the monitors.

She went around so she could face him. His eyes were filled with pure terror and she shivered. She'd never expected to see that particular emotion written over his face.

'Jess...' she caught his wrist lightly, pulling it away from the monitor. 'It's false alarm,' she repeated. 'The spare generator went on and everyhting's working. The system got false alarm.

He looked at her. His forehead was sweaty, his eyes mad.

'It's okay,' Rory repeated, squeezing his wrist slightly. 'Everything's working.'

Then she followed his look as he turned towards the motionless woman in the bed. She was completely still, saved for the rhythmical ups and downs of the respiratory support. Rory set the alarm off and suddenly the room went impossibly quiet, the only sound breaking the silence being the one of mechanical ventilation.

Rory read 'Liz Danes' on the sign above the woman's head. And then suddenly Helen's words from weeks ago started making perfect sense.

_He can't lose his license. He has to be working here._

Jess had to be working here. Of course he did.

Rory looked up.

'This is your mum, isn't it?'

Jess looked at her blindly, then tore his hand away from hers and stormed out of the room.

Rory stood numbly, trying to swallow a giant lump in her throat.

* * *

___~... Wearing your heart like a stolen dream, _

_Opening skies with your broken keys...~_

Rory pulled the collar of her coat up and hurried towards the subway station. Winter was coming over and the air was crispy with chill.

She threw an occasional sideways look at the bar to the side of the street that lead off the hospital's back entrance .

_'Neil's' _wasn't filthy. It was actually kind of cozy. She had gone there once or twice, letting Helen take her out and try to make her 'mingle'. Another common socializing place for co-workers to hang out. Especially when, after long shifts, her colleagues were too tired and unwilling to be inventive as to where they would have their drinks after work.

However, none of those few times had Rory seen him hang out there... not that she'd been looking around for him, of course. And yet, he'd never been there when she passed by 'Neil's' sweaty windowpanes after work. Never. Until today.

'Hey,' she sat at the bar next to him, wondering how she found herself in here in the first place.

Jess drank from his glass without acknowledging her presence.

'Okay, then' she nodded, 'you can always pretend that I'm just a non-existent inner voice personification... or whatever,' Rory tried to debate with herself, making a sign for the bartender to pour her a drink.

'Jesus Christ,' Rory coughed a minute later, 'what's this you're drinking,' she winced as she made another effort to swallow the remains of the burning liquid in her mouth, 'gut char?'

She stared at his thumb making random circles along the rim of his almost empty glass.

'I made an abortion,' she heard herself blurt.

His eyes stood half shut.

'I was a last year medical student, I was engaged and very in love.'

She stared at her own full glass and the way light reflected into the golden substance in it.

'His father held the best plastic surgery clinic on the East Coast. We were gonna get married right after graduation.'

She swallowed dryly.

'We were invited to a wedding. He cheated on me with the bridesmaids. I found out I was pregnant a couple of weeks after. Wasn't really the hardest decision to make.'

He looked up at her. She winced involuntarily.

'Why are you telling me this,' he asked, his eyes nailing hers.

'I...' she bit a lip, trying to find the exact words. 'Today I learned one of your secrets,' she explained shyly, 'and figured out you should know one of mine.'

He stared at her and his head spun.

'Come on,' she nodded towards the exit. 'Let's get you home.'

She dialled a cab. He didn't protest.

* * *

_~... Tracing the skin that defends your face,_

_Wrestle the walls that pretend they're safe... ~_

'Here?' Rory asked, gesturing at one of the doors to her left. 'Careful,' she caught Jess' arm as he stumbled into one of the steps.

'I'm fine,' he laughed. 'I'm fine,' he shook his head, looking amused.

'You don't get drunk often, do you?' Rory rose an eyebrow.

'Here,' Jess nodded at a door across from them. 'What do you care if I do?' he asked then and she pretended she hadn't heard the question. She refused to be embarrassed by his drunken self.

They reached his front door and she turned towards him.

'Keys?'

'Keys.' he repeated and rubbed his nape, smiling sloppily.

'Yeah, Jess,' Rory rolled her eyes, feeling increasingly tired. 'Where are your keys?'

'Oh,' he rose a point finger, suddenly remembering. 'The keys.'

'The very same,' Rory sighed. 'Where are they?'

'Mmm,' Jess scruffed his hair. 'They're in my pocket.'

Rory leaned back next to the door, folding her arms before her chest.

'Well, take them out.'

Jess nodded a little discordantly, taking the keys out. He stumbled over, approaching the door, leaning one elbow above his head as he tried to unlock.

'Jesus,' Rory rolled her eyes as she watched him stare at the bunch of keys. 'Gimme the keys,' she shook her head, taking them from him.

She stepped before him and started struggling with the lock. She had just managed to unlock when she felt him hovering over her. He hadn't moved an inch. Instead of stepping back to let her unlock, he was leaning on his elbow against the door standing motionlessly, staring at her. She felt her heart skip a beat and her fingers closed numbly around the keys.

He rose a hand and smoothed a strand of her hair back, keeping the ends between his fingers.

Suddenly she felt like she was trying to breathe underwater.

'You're not,' he mumbled.

'Eh?'

'You're not just a non-existent inner voice personification,' he smiled and then let go, straightening up. 'I think I'm getting sober,' he blinked as if he was just waking up.

'Yeah,' Rory stepped back and blinked, too.

'I better get going.' She gave him the keys back. 'Night, Jess.'

'Night, Rory.'

* * *

**A/N: I always wanna know what you think.**


	10. Things Are Changing

Disclaimer:_ Nothing's mine, I'm poor, etc._

A/N: **Inspired by** **LiteratiLoverNo1's vid** 'Finding Each Other' on youtube.

* * *

'Give him paracetamol.'

Rory paused on the step leading to her front door, fishing for her keys in her purse while trying to balance her mobile between her cheek and her shoulder.

'Is he febrile?'

Keys, keys...

'Does he cough?'

Rory continued rummaging through the contents of her purse, suppressing a yawn.

'No, I'm not yawning, mum... No, I don't find your sick Luke situation boring...'

Oh, here they are. Keys.

She unlocked the door and bent down, trying to untie her shoes with one hand while holding the mobile with the other.

'Yes, I realize that if Luke is sick he can't provide coffee. Or food. Or... or _that_. Jeez, mum, I'm just out of my night shift and I'm groggy, can we not discuss your sex life with Luke right now? Or ever? It was a killer shift, mom.'

She tried to use one of the piled up cardboard boxes in the corridor for support while fighting her way out of her right shoe. God must have created stilettos during a strong surge of chauvinism, Rory realized and sighed with relief as she managed to sneak her foot out of its uncomfortable accommodation.

'Yeah, your little girl is big doctor now, she gives night shifts.'

Rory shook her head with a smile at her mother's enthusiasm.

'What? Yep, almost like doctor Quinn... Eh, Sully? What about him? No, I haven't found my Sully, mom, I'm beyond exhausted and I'm helping Paris move out today, so give Luke the paracetamol and I promise you his cold will get better in no... what are you doing here?' Rory stopped in her track as she saw Jess in the middle of her living room.

'No, not you, mom, I'll call you later, okay?'

Rory hung up despite her mother's 'Who's in your apartment, dear? Is this Sully? You promised to tell me when...'

Jess smirked, giving a pointed look at the mobile in Rory's hand.

'Sully?' he quirked an eyebrow, inspecting her curiously.

'What are you doing here?' she repeated her question from seconds ago.

'Hello to you, too,' he smirked.

'I asked Jess to help me move out,' Paris came out of her bedroom, carrying a pile of clothes.

Her look darted between Rory and Jess.

'You fighting again?' she frowned.

'What?' Rory came out of the semi stupor she had fallen into. 'No. No fighting.' she answered quickly.

'No fighting.' Jess threw his hands up in mock innocence.

Rory gave him a pointed look that said '_Fine_.' and left her purse on the couch. Then she took her coat off and picked up a box of CDs from the floor, getting to the task at hand. Paris was moving out, after all.

They heard a cheerful horn beep from the street and Paris went to look out of the window.

'Oh, that's Doyle. He borrowed his boss' van.'

'Great,' Rory elated, thankful she had found a way out. 'I'm taking these down then.'

She had to bend to the side to balance the weight of the box, but carried it on towards the door anyway.

Jess' presence put her on her toes, but strangely, there was a good pat of her that liked that. She liked it more than she was willing to admit, and surely more than she meant to. That was exactly why she did her best to avoid him.

She secured her grip around the box of CDs and passed him by, doing what she did best when facing a problem - she denied it ever existed.

Jess watched her make her way past him and then took another box from the sofa, following her downstairs.

'_Mrs Dalloway_?' he furrowed as he put the box down on the sidewalk next to hers. 'Since when is Paris in for depressing postmodern literature?'

'Hey, that's mine!'

'Actually, it's Virginia's. You like that stuff?'

Rory shrugged.

'I've read it.'

'You've read it.'

'No, I used it to fill a hole in the wall. Of course I've read it. Now give it back.'

She took the book from his hand but he refused to let go, so they both held on to it for a second.

'Are you mad at me about something?' he narrowed his eyes.

'Do you care if anyone's mad at you about anything?' she asked back.

He let go of the book, his eyes giving away his amusement. He was amused by her bad mood.

'You in your period, aren't you?'

'What?!'

'Just checking.'

'Jeez,' she shook her head. 'Can't I have a proper rant without you ruining it with your sexist presumptions?'

He hesitated for a moment. She really was off today.

'I guess,' he shrugged. He was gonna give her a break.

'I'm gonna miss her, you know?' Rory said then. He looked up.

She sighed and bit on her lip. While Paris and Doyle were doing their best to appear less excited than they were, Rory was doing her best to appear more enthusiastic than she actually was. Rory had tried the phrase '_move out_' a couple of times when she spoke to her mom and it bruised her tongue each time. New York was a lonely place without someone to come home to.

Even if Jess did have a witty comment coming, he kept it to himself.

Rory looked around, shaking her head.

'They're both so excited, and I am happy for her, I _am._ I'm not one of those spoiled self-absorbed people who can't feel happiness for others. It's just... she's my best friend, you know? With her crazy banter and addiction to dried papaya, she's my best friend,' she shrugged helplessly.

'She still is.'

His tone wasn't comforting, but it bore a certain kind of understanding that caught her by surprise. She stared at him and he kept her look. Then Jess gave her a small nod and turned to load the boxes in the trunk. Rory blinked a few times, getting back to reality.

'Sorry I snapped at you a minute ago,' she mumbled.

'You did?' he frowned, feigning surprise.

She smiled and looked down.

'Yeah. A little.'

'Okay,' he shrugged noncommittally and headed back for the apartment.

'Okay,' she mumbled to herself and followed him upstairs.

* * *

'You two,' Paris crossed both hands before her chest a couple of hours later.

They had put the last box in the trunk of the van and Jess and Doyle had gone to the new place to unload, so Paris and Rory were alone in the middle of a somehow bare kitchen.

'What's going on?' Paris narrowed her eyes, sizing her friend suspiciously.

'Eh?' Rory poured herself a glass of water and looked up.

'Are you and Jess having an affair?'

Rory choked on her water.

'Excuse me?.'

'Are you?'

Rory blinked. Once. Twice. What the...

'No.'

'You sure?'

'Paris, are you high?'

'I think you should.'

'No, really. You high?'

'You're different around each other.'

'You are. Jeez.'

'No, no, that's good,' Paris nodded thoughtfully. 'There's nothing worse than being with someone who doesn't change you.'

Rory shook her head and sighed.

_**You** change me. You've been my best friend for the past ten years._ _If it weren't for you, I wouldn't live here, I wouldn't work here, and who knows, maybe I wouldn't even choose medicine in the first place. And now that things are changing, I don't know what to do with a half empty kitchen.  
_

'Remember when we were in high school?' Rory spoke then, putting her glass down on the counter. 'We were constantly looking to find who we really were - what we wanted, what we liked, what we didn't?'

Paris frowned, not getting where this was going.

'And it was okay to just feel confused and... lose yourself once in a while,' Rory continued thoughtfully. 'That was normal, 'cause we were kids and kids need time to learn how to handle growing up, right? But nothing really changes when you grow up. You still need time, and still need someone to wipe your nose and tell you it's gonna be okay until everything's okay again...'

Paris' face softened and she made a few steps to stand before her friend.

'Rory, it's gonna be okay.'

Rory nodded slowly.

'I'm gonna miss you, you know?' she looked up and smiled.

Paris shook her head.

'First, your drama queen tendencies disgust me, and second, I'm not going anywhere.'

'Yes you are. You're moving into your new home. And that's great, it's wonderful, it's just... I'm really gonna miss my friend, as disgusting as that is.'

'I promise to crash here every time Doyle gets on my nerves, okay?' Paris suggested. 'I'm actually wondering if there's any point in moving out.'

Rory smiled and shook her head.

'I'm happy for you, Paris. You know that, right?'

'I do."

'Good.'

'Good.'

* * *

**Review. Please?**


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